time for the yearly update
Thursday, 2 June 2022 19:11![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
spraklesI had my last dose of chemo last thursday.
I met with my specialist this afternoon and we've decided that's really the only option. The CT scans show most of the cancer spots are growing/shrinking slowly, but there's one or two that are growing quickly and that indicates that the chemo isn't effecting them. The odds are that it's just making me sick right now.
Coming off chemo there's a lot of uncertainty-- I might get worse fast, I might get worse slowly, or I might even get a little better for a while. But barring something dramatic, we're moving away treatment and towards supportive and palliative care.
What's most likely is that I've got a few months left. Weeks, if things get bad very fast.
This isn't a surprise, and I've been expecting it, since the type of cancer I have is really, really rare and most people who get it are old and die of age-related stuff long before they get to my point.
But still. It's a lot? Even having done a lot of processing and living with this for two years knowing that I was always going to get to this point-- that doesn't make it fun to hear.
It's not something I think I know how to talk to people about? I'm dealing with me and my emotions and on the whole that's going okay, but I don't know what to do for other people-- and I'm not sure I even have the capacity to deal with how others are coping or not coping. Sometimes I want to talk to people about it, but on the whole it's not something I really want a lot of input on.
So yeah. If there's any dramatic updates I'll update things again, and I've made sure my sister knows to put something on plurk if something happens very suddenly. But that's where things are at just now.
Please don't DM me or plurk me about this. I'll talk about it with people I want to, but even receiving sympathy or messages of love from others is a lot to deal with. This situation is what it is, I'm getting support. Please also get support if you need it, but I can't be that person for you. Thanks.
I met with my specialist this afternoon and we've decided that's really the only option. The CT scans show most of the cancer spots are growing/shrinking slowly, but there's one or two that are growing quickly and that indicates that the chemo isn't effecting them. The odds are that it's just making me sick right now.
Coming off chemo there's a lot of uncertainty-- I might get worse fast, I might get worse slowly, or I might even get a little better for a while. But barring something dramatic, we're moving away treatment and towards supportive and palliative care.
What's most likely is that I've got a few months left. Weeks, if things get bad very fast.
This isn't a surprise, and I've been expecting it, since the type of cancer I have is really, really rare and most people who get it are old and die of age-related stuff long before they get to my point.
But still. It's a lot? Even having done a lot of processing and living with this for two years knowing that I was always going to get to this point-- that doesn't make it fun to hear.
It's not something I think I know how to talk to people about? I'm dealing with me and my emotions and on the whole that's going okay, but I don't know what to do for other people-- and I'm not sure I even have the capacity to deal with how others are coping or not coping. Sometimes I want to talk to people about it, but on the whole it's not something I really want a lot of input on.
So yeah. If there's any dramatic updates I'll update things again, and I've made sure my sister knows to put something on plurk if something happens very suddenly. But that's where things are at just now.
Please don't DM me or plurk me about this. I'll talk about it with people I want to, but even receiving sympathy or messages of love from others is a lot to deal with. This situation is what it is, I'm getting support. Please also get support if you need it, but I can't be that person for you. Thanks.